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| On the right is my mother, and on the left, her mother, Grandma Rothwell |
My Grandmother, Ruth Rothwell passed away last Sunday and her funeral was Friday June 5th. I took the opportunity to speak during her funeral because it was something I knew I wanted to do when the time came. While she was 90 and lived a long full life and died quietly and quickly with very little suffering, it was still very hard to say goodbye. She was a wonderful vibrant woman and a part of me somehow believed she would easily live till 100. Though I cried about the whole way through message a few family members asked for copy of what I said. I didn't write it down before I spoke as I normally don't do that when speaking or preaching, however below is a memory of what I am pretty sure I said at the funeral, with some edits or additions. I tried my best to be true to what I said.
A note for clergy friends, this was not the funeral sermon proper, I left that to the interim pastor at their church. I didn't want to worry about theology or balancing out preaching and eulogizing and all that. I just wanted to talk about Grandma and what she meant to me and my family and I hopefully did that. So with all that said:
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As long as I can remember our family was traveling back and forth from Ohio to Pennsylvania to go to Grandma's. So of my earliest memories are of her house, we went out there sometimes once a month it seemed: this place of warmth and happiness and joy and I remember Grandma being the same way. I remember one time though we were at Grandma's on April Fools Day, for whatever ever reason, and she played a trick on me, a good one, I mean she got me good. And as she was sitting there laughing I realized something dramatic, Grandma was sneaky. Scott wasn't born that way! neither was my mom or Gail, they were made that way by Grandma! Grandma loved mischief, and that is reflected in our family. The teasing we do, kind teasing...for the most part...shows that mischief, a mischief done with love.
Grandma was also a person who lived with joy, her house was a house of joy where laughter and funny stories and smiles were common. It was a place a joy that made holidays even better, it was a place a joy that even when I was struggling with school or life or anything I knew I could go to smile and laugh and feel safer and loved.
Finally, grandma was a person of love. a love that defined how she lived her life. It was a love that extended to her children, her grandchildren, her great grandchildren and even to those who weren't relatives, but people who we loved. If we brought boyfriends or girlfriends she loved them too, she decided that if our people would be her people and we wasn't going to say anything about them...maybe she should of considering some of the people we brought around, but she didn't, or at least she kept it to herself. If we loved them she would love them because that's what family does.
Her love was a love that rearranged her home to care for her husband and son. A love that kept them home as long as possible, a love that extended to her church and community. (note: this is an addition that I forgot due to my emotions but really wanted to say) It was a love that looked at a sometimes socially awkward and overly emotional grandson and said "Hey you have a great disposition to be a pastor!" And she be right about it! It was a love that made her family what it is today.
So I think Grandma would be proud of us here because we gather in mischief. I brought some mischief with me. He's walking around outside with his mom because he can't sit still. We gather in joy, sharing stories and laughing even today because we know that the best defense we have against sad days like these is a sometimes dark, but strong sense of humor. And we gather in love, a love that makes us cross states and drive for hours just to say good bye. A love that she gave us and we give because we are her family.
Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians said that we have theses three great gifts: Faith, hope and love. Faith that allows us to gather for a funeral and hear good news. A hope that this day isn't the end of the story, but the turning of a page, and a love that draws us together not just as grandma's family but as God's family too.
So we gather today in mischief, joy and love and we gather today in faith, hope, and love the greatest of these is of course is Love. Amen
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Grandma's death has continue to hit me hard, probably as hard as any death since my father passed away. She was one of those people who once they are gone, cannot ever be replaced (not that anyone can ever be replaced, but...). She was a pillar for me and for our family and I will miss her terribly. She was my last grandmother and one of few people in life that I know loved me unconditionally, and knowing she won't be there, on her farm, or working with her flowers, being with her family or enjoying her life is hard.
So I am trying to embrace this grief and not hide from it. I avoided the grief with my father's death for a time and it wasn't healthy. And plus we try too hard in our culture to push grief aside because it hard to work through. So if I seem a bit down over the next couple weeks, well, know that I'll be better soon. Losing a loved one is hard, but the grief does end, and then we get to move on. I know I will, I know Grandma would want me to and I know God will call me to, and so I will, maybe just not today.
A note for clergy friends, this was not the funeral sermon proper, I left that to the interim pastor at their church. I didn't want to worry about theology or balancing out preaching and eulogizing and all that. I just wanted to talk about Grandma and what she meant to me and my family and I hopefully did that. So with all that said:
--------------------------------------------
As long as I can remember our family was traveling back and forth from Ohio to Pennsylvania to go to Grandma's. So of my earliest memories are of her house, we went out there sometimes once a month it seemed: this place of warmth and happiness and joy and I remember Grandma being the same way. I remember one time though we were at Grandma's on April Fools Day, for whatever ever reason, and she played a trick on me, a good one, I mean she got me good. And as she was sitting there laughing I realized something dramatic, Grandma was sneaky. Scott wasn't born that way! neither was my mom or Gail, they were made that way by Grandma! Grandma loved mischief, and that is reflected in our family. The teasing we do, kind teasing...for the most part...shows that mischief, a mischief done with love.
Grandma was also a person who lived with joy, her house was a house of joy where laughter and funny stories and smiles were common. It was a place a joy that made holidays even better, it was a place a joy that even when I was struggling with school or life or anything I knew I could go to smile and laugh and feel safer and loved.
Finally, grandma was a person of love. a love that defined how she lived her life. It was a love that extended to her children, her grandchildren, her great grandchildren and even to those who weren't relatives, but people who we loved. If we brought boyfriends or girlfriends she loved them too, she decided that if our people would be her people and we wasn't going to say anything about them...maybe she should of considering some of the people we brought around, but she didn't, or at least she kept it to herself. If we loved them she would love them because that's what family does.
Her love was a love that rearranged her home to care for her husband and son. A love that kept them home as long as possible, a love that extended to her church and community. (note: this is an addition that I forgot due to my emotions but really wanted to say) It was a love that looked at a sometimes socially awkward and overly emotional grandson and said "Hey you have a great disposition to be a pastor!" And she be right about it! It was a love that made her family what it is today.
So I think Grandma would be proud of us here because we gather in mischief. I brought some mischief with me. He's walking around outside with his mom because he can't sit still. We gather in joy, sharing stories and laughing even today because we know that the best defense we have against sad days like these is a sometimes dark, but strong sense of humor. And we gather in love, a love that makes us cross states and drive for hours just to say good bye. A love that she gave us and we give because we are her family.
Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians said that we have theses three great gifts: Faith, hope and love. Faith that allows us to gather for a funeral and hear good news. A hope that this day isn't the end of the story, but the turning of a page, and a love that draws us together not just as grandma's family but as God's family too.
So we gather today in mischief, joy and love and we gather today in faith, hope, and love the greatest of these is of course is Love. Amen
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Grandma's death has continue to hit me hard, probably as hard as any death since my father passed away. She was one of those people who once they are gone, cannot ever be replaced (not that anyone can ever be replaced, but...). She was a pillar for me and for our family and I will miss her terribly. She was my last grandmother and one of few people in life that I know loved me unconditionally, and knowing she won't be there, on her farm, or working with her flowers, being with her family or enjoying her life is hard.
So I am trying to embrace this grief and not hide from it. I avoided the grief with my father's death for a time and it wasn't healthy. And plus we try too hard in our culture to push grief aside because it hard to work through. So if I seem a bit down over the next couple weeks, well, know that I'll be better soon. Losing a loved one is hard, but the grief does end, and then we get to move on. I know I will, I know Grandma would want me to and I know God will call me to, and so I will, maybe just not today.
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